Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My Ungrateful Pet

Dear Ethel Meta, I have a 10 year old female cat that seems to be getting forgetful. She used to watch CSI Miami with me every week, but lately she forgets it's on and often sleeps right through it. I know she's older and more mature, but I'm just so attached to my 'Smokey Girl'. What's an old lady to do to get that spark back into our life? Widow from Wacoma

Dear Pathetic Widow, Now you listen up and you listen good! Your stupid cat is probably bored with you and your lame attraction to CSI Miami. Try tuning into Law and Order SVU. It has more decapitations per season, kinkier sex, and more gratuitous deviance than a bake-off at the fat farm. I watch it and I can smell good smut when I see it. If the cat is still reluctant to watch, even a little bit, have her put down. PCP will take a cat out like a candle in a hurricane. Just thinking about it makes me want to snap my fingers in a nano-second! Now get the hell off my blog, get a man, annoy someone else with your drivel, and enjoy your visit to the vet. Ethel Meta

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